Funny Quotes

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

There's a long history of anthropomorphic animals in Japanese literature. The so-called 'funny animal scrolls' were the first narratives in Japanese history, and the heroes of many folk tales have animals as their companions.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

So while it is true that I find really dark stuff funny sometimes, it's also true that as a writer of books I want to have the whole range of human emotions.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

It's a funny business. I kind of compare it to baseball. I'm always looking for a home run.

My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

And there's a visceral fun in watching Team America and making it, like taking a puppet and throwing it against the wall. Because it's not CG, there's something funny about it.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth.

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

I guess when I think about it, one of the things I like to dramatise, and what is sometimes funny, is someone coming unglued. I don't consider myself someone who is making the argument that I support these choices. I just think it can be funny.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.

Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too.

It sounds funny, but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened, and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast, you can't ask for much more.

If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

When I was a kid I had this funny blonde hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.