Quotes By Laurence J. Peter

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.