Quotes By Drew Carey

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.

The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.