Quotes By Drew Carey

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

I'm competitive at everything.

But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.

I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet.

I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything.

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.