Funny Quotes

And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.

I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life.

Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.

Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense.

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

I have a Dominique Wilkins Hawks jersey that I still wear. That's probably my favorite one. What's funny is that I spend all this time collecting jerseys, and now people are out there collecting mine.

I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable.

It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load.

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.

We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying!

One picture is worth 1,000 denials.

Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out.

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown.

Funny is funny.

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

When you have an entire amphitheatre of people laughing that way, it makes you feel so funny and it frees you to go further than you probably would.

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny.

People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny.

There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!'

To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I wish I had a funny story.