Funny Quotes

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between... and sometimes in the same moment.

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

Funny is when you're serious.

I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness.

I think movies glamorize violence, in the sense that they make it in a way that it's either cool or funny.

Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.

That's why I like to get out there, and get people to see the other side of Mitt, and know us in a different reflection when you see the family and how funny he is with the boys and with the grandkids. And you know, just what a super guy he is. That's part of what I am doing, is letting people see the other side of Mitt.

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

When I worked with Robin Williams, now there is improv! He is just as funny as you think he is. We did at least five or six takes of every scene, improvising every scene differently. He was a riot.

I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind.

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I was living in New York, and I really enjoyed acting at the time. Also, it's funny because that was also the time when I went downhill.

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.