Quotes By Kathy Griffin

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

My act is based on my life.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

Have I gone too far?

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.