Funny Quotes

I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't. And if you remember what we did on BATMAN, as the scripts were written very funny, we played them very straight.

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

My vanity is not dead. I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry, but just because it is really funny how much I've changed.

I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.

Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.

The tricky thing becomes: Do you know yourself well enough to then portray that on screen? And for me, I find that really hard. I'd rather hide behind accents and funny walks.

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

I was not funny growing up.

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing.

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'

I mean, I'm married first of all to one of, if not the most wonderful women in the world. She is everything - funny, attractive, hard-working, she has integrity, she loves me to bits.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

I'm a sucker for a funny script. And then, as soon as I don't wanna be, one comes along and grabs me.

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person.

Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.'

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.