Funny Quotes

I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it... and we always know when it will happen.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

I would really love to do a musical, I don't know in what capacity but something funny.

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

Never fight an inanimate object.

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

I think 'Saturday Night Live', starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

It's so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always moving. I had to meet new people all the time. And they'd laugh.

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

It's good to be funny when you are a comedian.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

I'm not very funny!

That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.

The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.

I put on a big show when I write something I think is funny.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.