Quotes By Louis C. K.

I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.

Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.

Everything that people say is testable.

Perception is created and twisted so quickly.

I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.

I was an awkward kid.

I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know?

It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.

You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.

A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.

You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.

If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.

I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.

I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.

I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.

I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.

I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.

People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.

There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.

Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.

There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.