Quotes By Louis C. K.

Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.

I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

I don't have a brother in real life.

I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school.

There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'

If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.

To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.

I could never sit down and write jokes.

I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'

I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.'

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.

There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say.

I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'

Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.

When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.

The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.

When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.

I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.

You can't direct without a good crew.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.

It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.