Quotes By Louis C. K.

When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.

To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.

I love comedians. They're my community.

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.

People don't talk to me on airplanes.

I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.

I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.

My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.

Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'

Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.

Life is full of horrible mistakes.

I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.

Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.

When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

Oh, I love stand-up.

I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.

Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.

Everything that people say is testable.