Quotes By Louis C. K.
A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
Louis C. K.
I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.
Louis C. K.
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
Louis C. K.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
Louis C. K.
I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.
Louis C. K.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C. K.
I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
Louis C. K.
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
Louis C. K.
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
Louis C. K.
Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.
Louis C. K.
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
Louis C. K.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
Louis C. K.
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
Louis C. K.