Quotes By Louis C. K.

Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'

Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.

Life is full of horrible mistakes.

I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.

Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.

When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

Oh, I love stand-up.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.