Quotes By Louis C. K.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.

There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say.

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'

Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.

When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.

There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.

The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.

When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.

I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.

You can't direct without a good crew.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.

It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.

When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.

To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.

I love comedians. They're my community.

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.

People don't talk to me on airplanes.

I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.

I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.

My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.

Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.