Quotes By Bill Cosby

When you become senile, you won't know it.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

I'm old, not dead.

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students.

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.