Quotes By Will Rogers

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.