Quotes By Will Rogers

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Politics is applesauce.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."