Quotes By Will Rogers

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.