Quotes By Will Rogers

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

Politics is applesauce.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.