Funny Quotes

I follow the most random people on Twitter. I follow famous people like Khloe Kardashian, who surprisingly makes really funny tweets all the time.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice.

I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?

Michael is a funny character, for whom I have a great deal of affection. He sat across his desk and seemed to be a bit of a blunt fellow. We began talking about the characters and he opened up about his vision.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.

I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing?

Kyle Baker's work is really funny, but it's also got a very clear vision.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them.

I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations.

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Kids cannot follow stories. They don't know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Well, I did Marlene 15 years ago and that's in the style. It's somehow similar and not similar because Marlene was much more aggressive, funny and sad.

It's a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It's funny and accessible.

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

It's to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that's my method.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important.

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.

If you look at the game and everything, it's not quite like looking at an animated film, because that's total character. This, this is really movement, but it's got funny little things if you look for the humor. They're actually getting to the character.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

I was going through a little bit of turbulence in my career. And so, it's funny how turbulence itself will make you hold onto something for security. And so the only thing I knew is trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own heart, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.

It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.

What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there.