Quotes By Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
Fred Allen
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Fred Allen
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Fred Allen
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
Fred Allen
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.
Fred Allen
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen