Joke Quotes

Housekeeping ain't no joke.

I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show.

Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah.

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

I never smile when I have a bat in my hands. That's when you've got to be serious. When I get out on the field, nothing's a joke to me. I don't feel like I should walk around with a smile on my face.

I agree with Sophocles: the greatest luck is not to have been born - but, as the joke goes on, very few people succeed in it.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.

I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out.

Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and I can see where the setup is and I can tell this is the way to make it.

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.

There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.

I never knew what basketball was. I started playing on the playground. People used to laugh at me and joke at me because I was so tall and I didn't know the game and couldn't play it.

There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable.

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.

At one point, they offered me this part to play a drug-dealing, gun-selling butch lady. I don't know how to describe her but she had like a crew cut and stuff. I was like, 'Is this a joke?' And they said, 'No, we think it would be great because everyone would be like, 'Oh, look at what we've done to Charlotte.' I was like, 'Well I can't do that!'

The only people who live in a post-black world are four people who live in a little white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. The idea that America is post-racial or post-black because a man I admire, Barack Obama, is president of the United States, is a joke. And I hope no one will even wonder about this crazy fiction again.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

My friends joke that I raised the Titanic and never left the Rockies.

Everyone recognizes that's a joke because obviously the number and shape of the pieces doesn't affect the size of the pizza. And similarly, the stocks, bonds, warrants, etc., issued don't affect the aggregate value of the firm.

The insular arrogance of the English character is a commonplace joke.

These endless legal challenges that define elections in New York are a joke in this country, and they are the reason why it is so expensive, or one of the reasons, it's so expensive to run here and why so many people decide not to run.

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it.'

People are learning to feel more comfortable hearing one another's dreams. It used to be that if you told a dream in public, someone had to make a joke to relieve the tension introduced by that alternative reality.

All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way.

When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.