Joke Quotes

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it has to offer the Third World - a laughingstock to countries that are looking for an economic-development model.

It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage.

Sometimes I wonder why God ever trusts talent in the hands of women, they usually make such an infernal mess of it. I think He must do it as a sort of ghastly joke.

Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn't work. So we joke about it.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'll tape a bunch of cats together to make a cow', and it's like, 'Why don't you just use a cow?'. For some reason that is novel - like, 'Oh, my guitar sounds like a piano and now if I can just get my piano to sound like my guitar'.

Challenging someone is good. You need to do it. Sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it, like when you joke with a goalie, 'What's wrong today? You losing it?'

I don't mind being the butt of the joke... It doesn't really bother me. I quite enjoy it.

If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.

Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public.

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or you're gonna make it work out.

If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke.

Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.

Slavery is nothing to joke about. The history of this nation's involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

Tool of Communist agitators... it's really a joke, isn't it? Because, quite clearly, we are a party of real moderates. It just shows how little they understand.

I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.

U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will be deployed next.

It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

What the joke displays is a switch in perception. This is important in changing the way we think.

A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.

Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew.

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.