Quotes By Dane Cook

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it's the worst... when you think you're drowning.

When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.'

I'm a late-night guy.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.

I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.

I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.