Joke Quotes

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.

I start with the joke line and write backward.

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

I used to do this big rant at the end of some gigs with Ben Folds Five. The band broke into this big heavy metal thing and I started as a joke to scream in a heavy metal falsetto. I found myself saying things like: Feel my pain, I am white, feel my pain.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

I laugh and joke, but I don't get distracted very easily.

Scandinavian-Danish cuisine was something quite rustic, mostly known for pastries and smorgasbord cuisine, which in itself has become a joke.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

I live on a ranch in Texas and do my own thing. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it. My joke is that the only people I'm trying to please are myself and my fans, because they're the ones buying my records. And I have the best, most loyal fan base ever.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it has to offer the Third World - a laughingstock to countries that are looking for an economic-development model.

Sometimes I wonder why God ever trusts talent in the hands of women, they usually make such an infernal mess of it. I think He must do it as a sort of ghastly joke.

Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn't work. So we joke about it.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'll tape a bunch of cats together to make a cow', and it's like, 'Why don't you just use a cow?'. For some reason that is novel - like, 'Oh, my guitar sounds like a piano and now if I can just get my piano to sound like my guitar'.

Challenging someone is good. You need to do it. Sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it, like when you joke with a goalie, 'What's wrong today? You losing it?'

I don't mind being the butt of the joke... It doesn't really bother me. I quite enjoy it.

If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.

Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public.

I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.

You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or you're gonna make it work out.

If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke.

Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.

Slavery is nothing to joke about. The history of this nation's involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian.