Quotes By Robin Williams

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.