Quotes By Robin Williams

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.

Reality: What a concept!

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

In America they really do mythologise people when they die.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.