Quotes By Norm MacDonald

I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're accessible to everyone.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.