Funny Quotes

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

When I worked with Robin Williams, now there is improv! He is just as funny as you think he is. We did at least five or six takes of every scene, improvising every scene differently. He was a riot.

I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind.

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I was living in New York, and I really enjoyed acting at the time. Also, it's funny because that was also the time when I went downhill.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too.

It sounds funny, but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened, and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast, you can't ask for much more.

If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

When I was a kid I had this funny blonde hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny.

The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Acting is all about big hair and funny props... All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

If I could ever be on a Missy Elliott record, I could then die. Missy Elliott, Mary J. Blige - I love hearing them interviewed, I love the way they talk about their art. They're very self-assured, they're funny, they're inviting. I love it.

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.