Quotes By David Sedaris

I don't like being left to my own thoughts.

I think it's important to take chances.

I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

I love 'Glee.'

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered.

Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie.

If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.

I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.'

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.

I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.

But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.

But most good movies have a gun in them.

I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.

I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.

I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?

I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books.

I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything.

I sometimes read books on my iPad.

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.

Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.