Quotes By David Sedaris

I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry.

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

I love 'Glee.'

Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered.

Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie.

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.

My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her.

To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.

I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.

Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.

I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry.

I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.

I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?

I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books.

I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything.

I sometimes read books on my iPad.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.

I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.

I don't have email.

They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.