Toilet Quotes

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.

Well, I've thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don't know what I'd do.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet.

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that's like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

There are some ghost stories in Japan where - when you are sitting in the bathroom in the traditional style of the Japanese toilet - a hand is actually starting to grab you from beneath. It's a very scary story.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.

You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

I've always loved 3D. In fact, as a kid, I was exposed to 3D at an early age because my grandfather was a specialist of 3D in cinematheques. And then my cousin put it in 'Science of Sleep' with toilet paper tube cities. But he was a specialist and I always wanted to do something in 3D.

It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?'

I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.

Most people in America want an easy read. I call it McFiction - books which pass right through you without you even digesting them. I don't mean a book that has two-syllable words. I mean chapters you can read in a toilet break. Happy endings. We are more of a TV culture.

In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot.

I'm a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?

Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.