Funny Quotes

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

Be obscure clearly.

I don't need to convince anybody that I know kung fu, but maybe somebody needs to know that I really can act, without doing a Chinese accent or a funny walk.

It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.

The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.

Everybody's funny in different ways.

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.

And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

All I want to do is write songs about funny characters I made up.

In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I don't really approach stories to make them different from other stuff I've seen, I just try to get into the character, into his or her head. Try to make it as funny, as scary or as wild as I can so that I really like it.

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too.

'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

When I first started I was always known as The Girl on the Sitcom with the Funny Voice.

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it.

I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it?

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.