Funny Quotes

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

Lots of models have played mermaids throughout history and it is, kind of, a funny rite of passage.

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.

Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Robert Altman's 'Nashville' is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?

At home in L.A., Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee, watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually, breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner - my wife makes a great roast beef.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

The commentary track became a lot like the movie and there are some funny, long, awkward pauses that you can tell we're just trying to find stuff to say. None of us had gotten to really talk about the movie until that moment and they were in New York and we were in L.A.

My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.

My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.

I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?

I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.