Funny Quotes

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."

'Lucky' is for laughs, and there's really nothing funny that I'm doing on 'Dexter.' I think more than anything, both comment on the fact that anybody is capable of anything. Just because they are the shy guy in the corner doesn't mean that they are a harmless little bunny.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

I was always telling everybody that I could be funny.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

It's funny with fiction - once you cut something, it hasn't happened anymore.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre.

It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

I don't dismiss the music that I was involved with, I don't think it was a joke, I don't think it was funny or a phase, I don't think it was just something I was doing back then, to me it was who I am. It connects all the way through. I don't distance myself from any of it.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

The tricky thing becomes: Do you know yourself well enough to then portray that on screen? And for me, I find that really hard. I'd rather hide behind accents and funny walks.

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

I was not funny growing up.

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing.

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'

I mean, I'm married first of all to one of, if not the most wonderful women in the world. She is everything - funny, attractive, hard-working, she has integrity, she loves me to bits.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

I'm a sucker for a funny script. And then, as soon as I don't wanna be, one comes along and grabs me.

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person.

Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.'

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.