Joke Quotes

I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't.

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing.

But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to hustle in my own way. I can't tell you how frustrating it was that they didn't get that. No joke - I'd leave meetings crying all the time.

I think those that are holier-than-thou don't make jokes. They take themselves too seriously and Peeta doesn't take himself too seriously. This is what I believe in and I'm comfortable with that and I can make a joke here and there.

That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than a student coming off the street because his father pays the tuition. Come on. Give me a break. This is no school. This is a joke.

So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I'm going to have a chance to fly it first and hand it over to him.

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

Everybody I know is a joke writer.

I have done things politically, and I've been running a business at the same time, but I sort of joke that to some extent I do more than most legislators have done in their whole careers, and I've been doing it as a part-time job.

And I liked pluralist Australia. I got a taste for pluralist Australia. I like, I like Australians and I can't believe that they're going to go to hell because they tell a good dirty joke, you know.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer.

Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list. Perhaps it should be.

It's a joke to think that anyone is one thing. We're all such complex creatures. But if I'm going to be a poster child for anything, anger's a gorgeous emotion. It gets a bad rap, but it can make great changes happen.

I never told a joke in my life.

I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.

Last Friday night, I Twitted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I posted to Twitter I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked. I then continued with that story, to stick to that story which was a hugely regrettable mistake.

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.

The joke of our time is the suicide of intention.

My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.

One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny.

I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.

A rumor that followed me forever was that my family was in the mafia. For years I had to live with it. They'd call me the mafia princess, so I rolled with it for the rest of high school. People even joke about it today.

I didn't just want to be Frank's daughter who sang Boots. I take my music very seriously and studied very hard. It's not a joke to me.

I joke that I learned the essentials of storytelling from Hanna-Barbera, but I pretty much did. That kind of television is what enamored me as a kid, and that's what really got me hooked. You could say that's where it all began.

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian.

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.