Joke Quotes

Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway.

Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that.

Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It's like a big joke.

I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In 'The Colour of Magic' most of the city is set alight. It's a joke, in much the same way that the Earth is destroyed almost at the start of Douglas Adams's 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.'

I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep from crying.

Most people, when they hear the disease name, it's all they know about it. It sounds so mild. When I first was sick, for the first 10 years or so, I was dismissed. I was ridiculed and told I was lazy. It was a joke.

I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

You have to struggle a bit, hustle a little, and be willing to go bankrupt. Once you're willing to do that, everything opens up and you get the freedom. My joke is that next year, I'll make the first film that costs zero dollars.

Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.

A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke.

I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't.

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing.

But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to hustle in my own way. I can't tell you how frustrating it was that they didn't get that. No joke - I'd leave meetings crying all the time.

I think those that are holier-than-thou don't make jokes. They take themselves too seriously and Peeta doesn't take himself too seriously. This is what I believe in and I'm comfortable with that and I can make a joke here and there.

That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than a student coming off the street because his father pays the tuition. Come on. Give me a break. This is no school. This is a joke.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting for an original one.

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemmingway and not seen the joke?

Generally speaking, we get the joke. We know that the free market is nonsense. We know that the whole point is to game the system, to beat the market or at least find someone who will pay you a lot of money, 'cause they're convinced that there is a free lunch.

The joke in our family is that we can cry reading the phone book.

For the amount of talent I had - and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke - I enjoyed a tremendous career.

And I liked pluralist Australia. I got a taste for pluralist Australia. I like, I like Australians and I can't believe that they're going to go to hell because they tell a good dirty joke, you know.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer.

Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.

Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list. Perhaps it should be.

It's a joke to think that anyone is one thing. We're all such complex creatures. But if I'm going to be a poster child for anything, anger's a gorgeous emotion. It gets a bad rap, but it can make great changes happen.