Quotes By Mark Twain

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

We are all alike, on the inside.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.