Quotes By Mark Twain

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.