Quotes By Mark Twain

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

When in doubt tell the truth.

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

All right, then, I'll go to hell.