Quotes By Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.

I'm still driving a Prius, yeah.

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.

I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy.

Most people think I'm immodest.

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.

I am not honest.

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!

I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through.

Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!

I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself.

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.

The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.

My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.