Quotes By Larry David

The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.

I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.

I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.

I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

You know, I'm really not that bright.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.

I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I'm still driving a Prius, yeah.

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.

I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.

OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy.

Most people think I'm immodest.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.

Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.

I am not honest.

I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.