Screwing Quotes

The American public tunes in every night hoping to see two people screwing. Obviously, we can't give them that but let's always keep it in mind.

Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.

Not a lot of conservatives on this list. Are more liberals than conservatives screwing up America?

We've got some very good things to do without screwing around with sleeves.

When cerebral processes enter into sports, you start screwing up. It's like the Constitution, which says separate church and state. You have to separate mind and body.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I'm scared of screwing up my kids.