Quotes By P. J. O..Rourke
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
P. J. O'Rourke
Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
P. J. O'Rourke
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'Rourke
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.
P. J. O'Rourke
The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.
P. J. O'Rourke
I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.
P. J. O'Rourke
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'Rourke
There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.
P. J. O'Rourke
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'Rourke
Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'Rourke
Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.
P. J. O'Rourke
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'Rourke
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P. J. O'Rourke
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke
Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
P. J. O'Rourke
You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective.
P. J. O'Rourke
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.
P. J. O'Rourke
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.
P. J. O'Rourke