Quotes By Doug Coupland

Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking.

Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question; you're already an animal.

When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.

What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people.

Once you see someone lose it, you can never look at them the same way again.

If your life had lyrics, would they be any good?

Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you.

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.

I think the killers get far too much attention.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.

Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters.

The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top.

The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member.

Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life.

I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along.

People will always choose more money over more sex.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Birds are a miracle because they prove to us there is a finer, simpler state of being which we may strive to attain.

Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal.

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.

A ring is a halo on your finger.

Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.

In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.

Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.

Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.

I want pills called September 10. You take one and your mind feels like the 11th never happened.

Earth was not built for six billion people all running around and being passionate about things. The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs.

Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long.

A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and every woman in the store hits on him. A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out.