Quotes By Doug Coupland

Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.

You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Purchased experiences don't count.

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.

Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.

It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.

If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us.

Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.

Quick. Name ten dead redheads.

On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin, and then they look at your clothes, and by the time they're listening to what you're saying, you're off the screen.

If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive.

A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

You can never become rich unless you like rich people.

The universe hands you opportunities for a while, and if you don't take them, the universe says to itself, 'Oh I see, this person doesn't like opportunities' and stops giving them to you.

You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young.

Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it.

Ten commandments yet seven deadly sins: conflict?

Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin.

Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.

Star Trek characters never go shopping.

Gap clothing allows you to look like you're from nowhere and anywhere.

I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?

Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common.

It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you.

Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.

I like doing radio because it's so intimate. The moment people hear your voice, you're inside there heads, not only that, you're in there laying eggs.

Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.

Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.