Quotes By Doug Coupland

Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.

Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.

Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine.

The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.

I like doing radio because it's so intimate. The moment people hear your voice, you're inside there heads, not only that, you're in there laying eggs.

Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries.

Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being.

Technology favors horrible people.

Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.

If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.

The future and eternity are two entirely different things.

We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid.

It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count.

With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless.

Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.

High school is such a shared experience in North American culture.

There are three things we cry about in life, things that are lost, things that are found, and things that are magnificent.

Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want.

Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are.

Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?

Adventure without risk is Disneyland.

Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing.

When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?

Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives.

Sometimes it feels as if everything in life is just something we haul into the grave.

If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.

Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.