Quotes By Woody Allen
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Woody Allen
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Woody Allen