Quotes By Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain