Jokes Quotes

You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.

I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.

I love my jokes.

It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.

The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood, action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.

In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.

Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.

I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.

I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he?

I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day.

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.

I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.

I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.

Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.

I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.

I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes you tell, nine of them have to get a really good response.