Quotes By Todd Barry

People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people.

I loved Australia. I was very successful there.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all.

If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.

I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

People in New York love having roof parties.

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it.

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake.

I will not be misquoted!

I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.