Quotes By Todd Barry

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place.

I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires.

If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.

You always think you're better than you are in the beginning.

People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people.

I loved Australia. I was very successful there.

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

People in New York love having roof parties.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all.

I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase.

I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it.

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake.

I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year.

I will not be misquoted!

Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself.

I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage.

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.

It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.

I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things.