Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

Men want to make women happy.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.

I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.

Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

I like definitive things.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Stand-up is hard.

The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.