Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld

Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

Men want to make women happy.

I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.

When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.