Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

I know God is real.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.