Quotes By Janeane Garofalo

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things.

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

I don't think Hollywood was trying to do anything with me. In fact, they lost interest pretty quick. I think I got lucky, briefly, in the '90s, and it just so happened that those movies were the opportunities that came my way. Then it just kind of stopped.

I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.

I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person.

I would say just in general, in life, I'm more willing to be animated as a person, and so obviously onstage as well.

Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.

I'm not a disciplined writer.

Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are in the collective conscious and unconscious, the Republicans will have some votes.

To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.

I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.

The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement.

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.