Quotes By Groucho Marx

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.