Quotes By Dick Gregory

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.

When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?

It's cool to be healthy.

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.

When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, 'I've been gypped,' or, 'He welshed on the deal.'

Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.

I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.'

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.

Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.

People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.