Quotes By Bill Watterson

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

Genius is never understood in its own time.

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

It's always better to leave the party early.

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.